Controlling, Obsessive and Neurotic Spaniel. Our journey to calmness [2]

We were given two main rules to follow.

1. Very little eye contact. Only give direct eye contact when she is calm and settled.

2. Show don't talk.

The behaviourist informed us that eye contact can be very intimidating for dogs (which we knew but didn't realise that coming from us it could still be intimidating) and that it can cause them to feel as though they need to be doing something when they are looked at. So by us constantly looking at Roo, she felt unsettled and inturn more anxious. Roo was also using eye contact to control a situation or us. Staring at us for attention or for us to play with her. We were also told to talk to her less. We should talk to her in a calm and slow voice to reassure her that all is well as long as she is not doing anything undesriable but other than asking for commands, we don't need to talk to her.

Other rules were three strikes and she is removed from the room for undesriable behaviour, we were to start and end play on our terms not hers and her not being allowed on the sofa.

We were also advised to limit her time with a ball as she was showing almost neurotic tendencies with the ball. If Roo had a ball, she would need to be able to see it at all times if not she would be head down searching for it. She would become irratic and unable to perform basic commands. A ball had always been our safety, if we had a ball on walks Roo was generally well behaved. However we could see how it was a compulsion and in order for the ball to not become a replacement for her other controlling behaviours we needed to limit her time with it and perhaps remove them completely.

After our consultation, we were exhuasted, there was so much information and changes to be made. Most of the changes were our behaviour, which had become habits over the past 9 months with Roo and would require a lot of conciousness to change. But we were also hopeful. Someone had sat down with us, seen Roo and explained her behaviours to us. She didn't just pass it off as "she is a young dog" which a lot of people do.

We were left with the message that we needed to show Roo that we could take care of her, that we could handle situations and keep her safe. Given Roo's age, the behavourist was hopeful that we would be able to get there.

Roo's world had to suddenly become very small and start from scratch.....

PSA - this is our experience. If your dog is experiencing any behavioural issues please contact a trainer or behaviourist. The quicker you act the easier things are to fix.